Post by zoe on Jul 18, 2010 13:20:35 GMT
Hello
I wanted to share what has happened over the last week with me - it has been incredibly painful and to be honest, there probably aren't many people who would get them selves into this situation - but for anyone who does, I now really understand what you've gone through.
Having come to Babworth a few weeks ago and fallen in love with Gemini, Fozzy and Jasmine, I went home and spent a few days thinking about things and basically came to the conclusion that I was letting my heart rule my head. As my boyfriend would be a first time dog owner, I decided it really wouldn't be fair to get a bull breed or a Rottie type dog, no matter how much I loved them. Additionally, I decided that whilst I felt completely comfortable with Gem in the kennel environment, when out, with other dogs and other people, I might not be so comfortable, due to the muscle mass behind her - even though I know she is great with dogs and people.
So decided to bide my time and wait (which for someone impulsive like me, was really hard to do). There is a rescue kennels only a mile or so away from us, so we decided on the off chance to have a look there - amongst many other dogs, we happened to find a beautiful 2 year old golden Lab x with blue eyes and the most wonderful happy grin - I've never owned a Lab before so wan't 100% certain of their appearance and that was what he was listed as so took it as read. We were excited about this, as we'd read in my dog book that Labs are recommended 1st time dogs - easy to train, very friendly, not prone to agression, etc. We took him out for a few walks and he seemed absolutely perfect - happy, friendly, little bit cheeky - not really interested in the other dogs being walked and not even much of a puller.
So, we reserved him and I went out and got all his bed and bowls and everything. We had a successful home check by the areas dog warden and then finally we brought him home - I took a week off work to spend time to get him settled in (the long term plan was to have a short walk in the morning, then have a a dog walker come halfway through the day, then another walk in the evening after work - with kongs etc to be used in the day whilst not there for entertainment).
Things started well - he had no toilet training whatsoever, but we started going outside every hour and using the praise and roast chicken rewards every time he went outside, which seemed to be working. Also seemed like a candidate for seperation anxiety, as he was very clingy to me - however, again, we started working with this by using a baby gate at times and going out for small periods of time, but gradually increasing the amount of time we'd leave for - again, he started settling after a couple of days.
Not long after we'd had him, I mentioned to my boyfriend that he seemed to had quite a Mastiff-like forehead from some angles, with a line down the middle - but we thought nothing more of this. I had then posted pics of him on my facebook site and my friend, who has two American Bulldogs and has kept ABDs for many years, messaged me saying he looked more like an ABD than a Lab - I pooh poohed this saying "No, he's definately a Lab X, that's what the kennels have said - he's not musclular enough to be a bull dog" and my friend diplomatically didn't say any further.
Then took him to the vets for his kennel cough vacc (his was up to date with all his others) - I had called up and registered him as a Lab x, but when I saw the vet, she said "He's not Lab, he's bull dog" - again, in my head I thought "Oh well, he's a Lab x, maybe there's a tiny bit of Staff or something in him, but only a tiny bit" - because it was late in the day and I was the last appointment and also, the vet had a very strong accent, so wasn't 100% easy to understand, I decided not to question any further.
Went home and didn't consciously think anything, but was feeling very stressed and tightly strung and couldn't really eat anything at dinner. Also, ended up bursting into tears a couple of times that night for no real reason.
The next day was Otto's (that's what we named him) first day of dog obedience class - we were having the first session at home, because we wouldn't be able to get to the first class, also, I decided to pay for some extra time to check I was doing everything correctly, training wise (such as turning round and ignoring jumping up and rewarding calmness etc ) - I was confident that what I was doing was right, but thought that nothing is too good for my boy, might as well check with the professionals - was pleased to find that we'd being doing it spot on - also picked up some good tips, such as giving beakfast in the kong, rather than feeding in the bowl and having different levels of training food treats, so that the flashier ones can be used when there are more distractions around, etc.
We had a really wonderful session doing clicker training - Otto was doing fantastic - he never actually has done anything "naughty", didn't try to steal food or chew - incredibly calm, well behaved boy. However, when Jennny first arrived she told me, leaving no doubt in my mind - "I certainly wouldn't label him as a Lab x - he's predominantly American Bulldog - there may be a tiny bit of Lab in him somewhere, but that's definately his main breed".
As I said, we then went on to have a wonderful session. After this, I then started looking at him and clearly seeing, yes, of course he's an American Bulldog x! Previously, I had been viewing him through Labradour coloured blinkers, but now they had been stripped away and his face and shoulders - all started looking like ABD to me.
And because of this, my nervousness started increasing, I still couldn't eat anything. I know it sounds terrible, to become nervous around the same dog, who has been nothing but a sweet and loving angel with you, just because suddenly he's a different breed - same dog though and ame beautiful temperament. It wasn't that I was nervous in any way that he would hurt me or Neil - as I said, he is an angel and so unbelieveably loving - but I just had a general unease.
We then went for a walk and he found a bag of abandoned sandwiches which, like any other dog, he leapt on in delight. I tried to distract him with one of high value treats (a slither of lamb) and then, with no success, with one of his special toys - but still no luck.
I really didn't want him to eat the sandwiches as, at the vets advice, we had put him on special hypoallergenic dog food, as his "doings" were quite "loose" to say the least! And due to this, he wasn't supposed to be having treats like abandoned cheese sandwiches! So, I tried to pull him away (he had his collar and halti on) but physically couldn't do it, so had to just wait until he'd finished them.
I then started to really worry that the reason I couldn't stop him was because he was picking up on my nervousness. Spent that night and the next day in floods of tears, starting to dread going out for walks - as I said, he, as a general rule, was a 100% angel - it was me, psychologically, because I didn't feel comfortable with his breed.
So, I spoke with my mother and sister and doggy friends, telling them I just didn't know what to do - I absolutely adored him and he adored me back and it would destroy me to return him to the shelter - but I was scared that I couldn't control him and that he would pick up on my nerves and challenge them at some point (not with me, but in doing something else).
After some unbeliveably painful discussions, we had basically honed the issue down to - on the one hand, we really love him and he loves us and he's so happy here - and on the other, I was at risk of making myself ill with stress (I lost 5 pounds in weight over 3 days) - at some point he will pick up on my nerves and it will affect him - and and potentially, we will get into a situation where I will need to stop him doing something and will not be able to do it - with what could be disasterous results.
We discussed whether it was something we could overcome with training - but then we would be using him as a training aid in the interim period - and what if something happened before I was able to deal with it? In the end, my boyfriend summed it up with "what if that sandwich had been in a childs hands? With Gizmo or Puggy or Alfie (family dogs), you're confident enough to stop them grabbing them - if you can't do that with Otto, it's not fair on him to keep him - he needs to go to someone who can give him a home with that experience".
So, in what has been one of the most painful decissions in our lives, we returned him to the rescue. For anyone who has had to do this, I'm sure you know how incredibly heartbreaking this is - we are both still in pieces about it and really struggling to hold ourselves together.
We know it's the best thing for him, but it's still unbelievablely hard to deal with. He went back to his old kennel - he rememebered the lady that looked after him there and seemed happy to see her - we've given them his bed and toys from our house to go in his kennel and I have also supplied them with a 15kg bag of James Wellbeloved, the hypoallergenic food we put him on - they have promised that they will feed him only this and I have made them promise that if his digestion does not improve, they will get him checked at the vets. I'm going to keep in contact by phone to check on how hes doing and how much food he has left, so I can get more if he needs it. They have said I can come to visit him but I think that would be too painful for us and may confuse and upset him too.
I just wanted to tell people, as I'm hysterical talking about it face to face, but can write about it on here without as many tears.
I really miss my beautiful boy
x
I wanted to share what has happened over the last week with me - it has been incredibly painful and to be honest, there probably aren't many people who would get them selves into this situation - but for anyone who does, I now really understand what you've gone through.
Having come to Babworth a few weeks ago and fallen in love with Gemini, Fozzy and Jasmine, I went home and spent a few days thinking about things and basically came to the conclusion that I was letting my heart rule my head. As my boyfriend would be a first time dog owner, I decided it really wouldn't be fair to get a bull breed or a Rottie type dog, no matter how much I loved them. Additionally, I decided that whilst I felt completely comfortable with Gem in the kennel environment, when out, with other dogs and other people, I might not be so comfortable, due to the muscle mass behind her - even though I know she is great with dogs and people.
So decided to bide my time and wait (which for someone impulsive like me, was really hard to do). There is a rescue kennels only a mile or so away from us, so we decided on the off chance to have a look there - amongst many other dogs, we happened to find a beautiful 2 year old golden Lab x with blue eyes and the most wonderful happy grin - I've never owned a Lab before so wan't 100% certain of their appearance and that was what he was listed as so took it as read. We were excited about this, as we'd read in my dog book that Labs are recommended 1st time dogs - easy to train, very friendly, not prone to agression, etc. We took him out for a few walks and he seemed absolutely perfect - happy, friendly, little bit cheeky - not really interested in the other dogs being walked and not even much of a puller.
So, we reserved him and I went out and got all his bed and bowls and everything. We had a successful home check by the areas dog warden and then finally we brought him home - I took a week off work to spend time to get him settled in (the long term plan was to have a short walk in the morning, then have a a dog walker come halfway through the day, then another walk in the evening after work - with kongs etc to be used in the day whilst not there for entertainment).
Things started well - he had no toilet training whatsoever, but we started going outside every hour and using the praise and roast chicken rewards every time he went outside, which seemed to be working. Also seemed like a candidate for seperation anxiety, as he was very clingy to me - however, again, we started working with this by using a baby gate at times and going out for small periods of time, but gradually increasing the amount of time we'd leave for - again, he started settling after a couple of days.
Not long after we'd had him, I mentioned to my boyfriend that he seemed to had quite a Mastiff-like forehead from some angles, with a line down the middle - but we thought nothing more of this. I had then posted pics of him on my facebook site and my friend, who has two American Bulldogs and has kept ABDs for many years, messaged me saying he looked more like an ABD than a Lab - I pooh poohed this saying "No, he's definately a Lab X, that's what the kennels have said - he's not musclular enough to be a bull dog" and my friend diplomatically didn't say any further.
Then took him to the vets for his kennel cough vacc (his was up to date with all his others) - I had called up and registered him as a Lab x, but when I saw the vet, she said "He's not Lab, he's bull dog" - again, in my head I thought "Oh well, he's a Lab x, maybe there's a tiny bit of Staff or something in him, but only a tiny bit" - because it was late in the day and I was the last appointment and also, the vet had a very strong accent, so wasn't 100% easy to understand, I decided not to question any further.
Went home and didn't consciously think anything, but was feeling very stressed and tightly strung and couldn't really eat anything at dinner. Also, ended up bursting into tears a couple of times that night for no real reason.
The next day was Otto's (that's what we named him) first day of dog obedience class - we were having the first session at home, because we wouldn't be able to get to the first class, also, I decided to pay for some extra time to check I was doing everything correctly, training wise (such as turning round and ignoring jumping up and rewarding calmness etc ) - I was confident that what I was doing was right, but thought that nothing is too good for my boy, might as well check with the professionals - was pleased to find that we'd being doing it spot on - also picked up some good tips, such as giving beakfast in the kong, rather than feeding in the bowl and having different levels of training food treats, so that the flashier ones can be used when there are more distractions around, etc.
We had a really wonderful session doing clicker training - Otto was doing fantastic - he never actually has done anything "naughty", didn't try to steal food or chew - incredibly calm, well behaved boy. However, when Jennny first arrived she told me, leaving no doubt in my mind - "I certainly wouldn't label him as a Lab x - he's predominantly American Bulldog - there may be a tiny bit of Lab in him somewhere, but that's definately his main breed".
As I said, we then went on to have a wonderful session. After this, I then started looking at him and clearly seeing, yes, of course he's an American Bulldog x! Previously, I had been viewing him through Labradour coloured blinkers, but now they had been stripped away and his face and shoulders - all started looking like ABD to me.
And because of this, my nervousness started increasing, I still couldn't eat anything. I know it sounds terrible, to become nervous around the same dog, who has been nothing but a sweet and loving angel with you, just because suddenly he's a different breed - same dog though and ame beautiful temperament. It wasn't that I was nervous in any way that he would hurt me or Neil - as I said, he is an angel and so unbelieveably loving - but I just had a general unease.
We then went for a walk and he found a bag of abandoned sandwiches which, like any other dog, he leapt on in delight. I tried to distract him with one of high value treats (a slither of lamb) and then, with no success, with one of his special toys - but still no luck.
I really didn't want him to eat the sandwiches as, at the vets advice, we had put him on special hypoallergenic dog food, as his "doings" were quite "loose" to say the least! And due to this, he wasn't supposed to be having treats like abandoned cheese sandwiches! So, I tried to pull him away (he had his collar and halti on) but physically couldn't do it, so had to just wait until he'd finished them.
I then started to really worry that the reason I couldn't stop him was because he was picking up on my nervousness. Spent that night and the next day in floods of tears, starting to dread going out for walks - as I said, he, as a general rule, was a 100% angel - it was me, psychologically, because I didn't feel comfortable with his breed.
So, I spoke with my mother and sister and doggy friends, telling them I just didn't know what to do - I absolutely adored him and he adored me back and it would destroy me to return him to the shelter - but I was scared that I couldn't control him and that he would pick up on my nerves and challenge them at some point (not with me, but in doing something else).
After some unbeliveably painful discussions, we had basically honed the issue down to - on the one hand, we really love him and he loves us and he's so happy here - and on the other, I was at risk of making myself ill with stress (I lost 5 pounds in weight over 3 days) - at some point he will pick up on my nerves and it will affect him - and and potentially, we will get into a situation where I will need to stop him doing something and will not be able to do it - with what could be disasterous results.
We discussed whether it was something we could overcome with training - but then we would be using him as a training aid in the interim period - and what if something happened before I was able to deal with it? In the end, my boyfriend summed it up with "what if that sandwich had been in a childs hands? With Gizmo or Puggy or Alfie (family dogs), you're confident enough to stop them grabbing them - if you can't do that with Otto, it's not fair on him to keep him - he needs to go to someone who can give him a home with that experience".
So, in what has been one of the most painful decissions in our lives, we returned him to the rescue. For anyone who has had to do this, I'm sure you know how incredibly heartbreaking this is - we are both still in pieces about it and really struggling to hold ourselves together.
We know it's the best thing for him, but it's still unbelievablely hard to deal with. He went back to his old kennel - he rememebered the lady that looked after him there and seemed happy to see her - we've given them his bed and toys from our house to go in his kennel and I have also supplied them with a 15kg bag of James Wellbeloved, the hypoallergenic food we put him on - they have promised that they will feed him only this and I have made them promise that if his digestion does not improve, they will get him checked at the vets. I'm going to keep in contact by phone to check on how hes doing and how much food he has left, so I can get more if he needs it. They have said I can come to visit him but I think that would be too painful for us and may confuse and upset him too.
I just wanted to tell people, as I'm hysterical talking about it face to face, but can write about it on here without as many tears.
I really miss my beautiful boy
x